Friday, April 4, 2008
Looking forward, but looking back
We’re into April now. We are planning to move in May. So we are down to one month left before we actually make the long-awaited move.
So why am I consumed with mixed feelings? I WANT to move to New Mexico, I have dreamed of it for years now, and it is finally really going to happen.
But what I am feeling these days is a mixture of joy and excitement …. with some bittersweet thoughts and memories intruding.
We have lived here in Kansas for almost 29 years. 29 years! That is such a huge portion of my life. This is the longest I have lived anywhere. I know every inch of this house and yard, every part of this neighborhood, I know where all the good stores and restaurants are. All my doctors and dentist and the vet and most of my friends are here. My son and daughter in law live here. This is the house where my little kids grew up, where we lived through all the wonderful times and the difficult times and the sad times. Christmases and birthdays and Easters and proms and graduations and visitors.
My daughter is having a very hard time with the fact that she can never come home again, she can never show my grand-daughter the house where our family lived for so many years. I understand her feeling about it. I am feeling some of that, too, these days.
I am thinking it is normal…. a part of this process…..but one I forgot to expect in all the plans for this move.